I thought it's just me that I'm feeling moody.

but the fact shows that its not me,

its you who made me feel sad and loss of what to say to you.

I often wonder,

why am I being the one who has to endure and run after you.

always the one you said i'm wrong.

always the one crying and scared when you can just go to bed and deeply asleep.

every single stuffs or words I said often are wrong to you,

than you'll ignor me or be angry with me.

often I have to care about your feelings over what i do or say,

but you'll never care about my feelings over what you do or say.

sometimes you just ignor me and be moody or angry with me,

leaving me to guess what did i do wrong again.

or what words did i say wrong again.

never will you talk to me when you suddenly just ignor me,

and just show me a face that you're unhappy without me knowing why.

all along i thought,

couples should love and care about each other feelings.

I did my part,

I love you, care about your feelings, giving in to you and bearing with all those awful words and actions you showed me or your dad showed me.

all i ever wanted was you to show me you love me,

care about me and not always hurt me.

when days are us very happy with each other,

you'll make me happy and show some concern.

and when you said sometime nice or praise me,

i'll be very happy for that whole day.

when days you're not happy,

all i get is words that hurts me,

words that blames me,

tone that doesnt like me,

feelings that dont care about the way i'll feel.

then i wonder,

am i a sore in your eyes?

but in the end,

i'll still be the one who says sorry and bow down to you,

no matter i'm right or you're wrong.

I just want to make you happy if saying sorry first helps.

I dont mind being the one who bow down first,

as long as you can be happy and love me more again.

but at times,

it's really very hurting and pain to feel so hurt by you.

even though now i'm crying,

i still hope when you wake up,

you can smile and be happy with me again.

what a way to end this day.

:(

Changed Blogskin!

Been having the old one for too long already.

Hence a new one!

Simple and nice

:)

Mj later with alan & kelly + hubby and me

:)

Went for felicia's darling wedding buffet dinner yesterday at telok blangah CC :)

pretty pretty bride yesterday :)

was happy for her that she found someone she loves and loves her.

I think they both make quite a cute match though :)

Met tiffany, dickson & stella plus their two lil cute kids.

they were there before me for felicia's wedding dinner too!

so chatted a lil with them and tiff.

then irving and his gf came as well.

we saw each other but just kind of ignor each other.

wells,

anyway best wishes to him and his gf too :)

stayed for awhile,

than headed home with tiffany cause we both lived in yishun.

and tiff was telling stuffs about her recent life.

intending to find sometime to meet up with those sisters again!

been so long since we last went out.

miss them lots.

to end this post,

FELICIA DARLING

WISH YOU HAPPINESS WITH YOUR HUBBY ALWAYS

:)

Thought of writing something that I am thinking of now :)

Recently some friends around me have been in and out of relationships.

some have gotten over it,

some haven gotten a new relationship,

some have went further on the relationship.

the rest?

I'm not sure how they're coping with now.

But because of this,

I've gotten some feeling that i want to write here.

It's been a long time since I sat down quietly,

just listening to slow music,

and thinking of feelings.

Sometimes it's only human's nature that makes you think back of those feelings,

those feelings you thought will never feel again.

Think back of the person who have left a deep mark in your heart.

the one you thought you loved most before.

Shed tears most for.

and when you look back,

sometimes you still wonder why it happened.

And before you realise,

you ask yourself what will happen if you two has continued on together?

will you feel happier now?

or will you still be shedding tears for him?

or choose not to end the way things ended?

will you still let go?

or have you already moved on even though you still are in the same spot?

And what happens when you realised that you have regretted?

that the one you thought is not the one for you but is right infront all along?

the one that used to make you happy?

the one that used to touched your heart?

will you still go back to him?

And what about now?

are you seriously happy with the one you're with?

does he give you happiness?

or only gives you nothing but sadness and tears?

does he treat you the way you're supposed to be loved?

or have you forgotten how being doted on feels?

Without realising,

you may have gotten used to it.

used to the way things are now.

or cant give it up for some reasons.

When you have the courage to end it,

Yes,

you will be sad.

you will cry.

you will hide yourself away in those memories that used to be happy,

until you think of those memories that hurt you the most.

then you should be thinking of finding back the one person that can makes you happier.

find back the one who's willing to love you truely always.

give up the one who doesnt deserve your tears to be wasted on.

It may take a month,

six months,

a year,

two years,

or even longer.

but it'll all be worth it when you finally find the one that can treat you better than the last.

that loves you the way you deserved to be loved.

eyes that says he's lucky to have you,

hands that says he'll always hold you,

shoulders that'll always let you lean on when you met with other unhappiness,

legs that'll walk with you till the end of your road.

things he'll gladly do only to make you smile.

what's more is there to ask once you've truely found this person that'll do all those with you.

I only hoped,

those that has found the person you're looking for will cherish.

those that haven found,

dont worry.

I'm sure one day you'll find.

Its hard I know,

but I'm sure you wont want to be living in sadness and tears forever.

Because trust me,

I've been through it.

Been through enough to feel the way I'm feeling and more.

And dont try to forget those memories that he left a mark on.

keep it in the deepest corner of your heart.

this is what makes you move on stronger.

and makes you realise that you'll only treasure the next one and not hold on to the wrong ones.

:)

Been more than a month since my last updates!

Did anyone misses my blog?? :)

Went for FTT, failed FTT.

Booked FTT for the second time on 2nd Dec and pray that I will pass.

Had a haircut.

Went on a mad shopping spree with carol.

Baby hayden turned 4mths old on 6th November 09.

Fall deeply in love with the hello kitty mahjong tiles and wishing to have one.

Deciding what to get for christmas presents.

Waiting for christmas.

Planning my short term goals.

Trying to fulfil those short term goals.

On a dvd marathon (both english series and hk series).

Went on shopping spree with carol again for baby hayden stuffs.

Baby hayden finally can wear M size diapers.

And now he knows how to hold things and play with them for a long time :)

Tomorrow going to felicia darling's buffet dinner.

She's finally married and I'm really happy for her :)

One red bomb for tomorrow dinner.

:)

Date: 17th October 2009 (Saturday)

Time: 12:25am

Been doing some stuffs over these two weeks.

Booked my final theory test date.

Celebrated Darling Hubby's birthday by bringing him for a nice meal and KTV session.

Found a part-time job as dance instructor for kids together with carol.

Been going out almost everyday with Carol to keep her company.

Wished baby hayden happy 3 months on 6th October!

hayden's got another god-mother (Carol).

Carol brought hayden so many baby stuffs for him.

Last but not least,

this is the happiest news I've heard this month.

One of my best sister, Felicia,

Is getting married! :)

She's holding a wedding buffet dinner next month.

And I sure will attend,

missed her so much and am very happy and excited for her!

Cant wait to see her soon!

And now,

I've got red eye!

My right eye is like so painful each time I blink,

and I'm so going to the doctor in the morning.

:(

Date: 1st October 2009 (Thursday)

Time: 10:18pm

Happy Children's Day!!

(wells, to those who are still kids at heart, including me!) :D

Went for my BTT (basic theory test) today!!

Darling hubby sent me there and waited for me.

I passed on my first attempt!

Damn happy lah,

was so scared that I'll fail and have to retake!

Cause I did all those that I knew first,

and left 7 questions left unanswered!

So I was thinking,

Die lah,

max can only wrong 5 questions but now I have 7 that I'm not sure of.

But heng I pass,

luck's beaming on me today :)

going to book my final theory test too soon.

Wells,

basically here's my update for now!

Heading in to JB with hubby tomorrow.

Buy milk powder, and etc etc.

Going to relax and watch my DVDs for now.

Take care everyone!

Enjoy your long weekends! :D

Date: 28th September 2009 (Monday)

Time: 6:53pm

This is gonna be a post with peek-tures! :)

Finally found a way to load my photos and not get messed up all together with the words.

This morning when I woke up,

baby hayden woke up too!

and I was changing his diaper and cleaning his face,

and left him to rest on his bed while I clean up the area.

and he was happily playing by himself and smiling!

so I cant help but took photos of him!

First photo!

Beginning to smile :)

Second one!

And I liked this one the BEST!

Cause he smile so big and cute that I wanna kiss him! :)

PS: Thats his yellow duckie by his bedside ")

Like duh!

Normal face with normal expression! :)

And here comes hayden's bathing time for today!

I'm in the mood for taking photos today as you can see.

So I happily took some photos while my mum was bathing him. :)

Starting his shower routine!

He's looking at my mum happily cause he loves bathing! :)

Thats just so cute of him!

Hahs,

Look at his enjoyable face!

He loves bathing ALOT! ")

Enough of baby hayden for now.

Went out with Carol, Jam and Weinuo today!

Haven met weinuo for a damn long time!

Had a good catch up with him that I didnt talk much with Jam today.

Brought some stuffs today.

Shoes from charles and keith.

Some snacks to bring home and eat with darling hubby.

Mooncakes for mummy and snow-skin ones for me!

Skincare products from the faceshop!

This is just one of the many snacks I brought home!

One of darling hubby's favourite! :)

I love buying shoes from charles and keith!

Ok, I love buying shoes from everywhere as long as I love the shoe!

Hahs :)

This is my most favourite snow-skined mooncakes from Bengawan Solo!

I love their mooncakes!

Been eating since dont know when each year! :)

And for a more completed set of hayden's photos,

kindly go to my facebook to view!