How a reality world we're living in our everyday life

As said in my blog title,

I seldom have such serious blog post here,

Just needed a platform to write/say things when my friends are all busy or sleeping at this timing.

And when i remembered you said you'll be here whenever i needed you,

you're busy too.

Its really kind of depressing at times like these.

just when you needed a listening ear/shoulder.

and yet i can only write on my blog, drinking a bottle of vodka, listening to slow songs.

how much more emo can i get?

Usually friday nights are what people called TGIF night.

but today for me, it isnt a good one.

I guess i never felt more of a failure then now,

nor any other moments in my life till far.

I had a big quarrel with my dad couple days ago,

than huge quarrel with my mum today,

things between you and me is a mess.

things at work is a mess as well (and i think i might just quit my job).

I feel like i am living in a hell pithole,

whereby everything is just pinpoint on.

with people talking behind your back,

back stabbing you and still pretend as if nth happened.

I find it really ironic that how people can back stab others when they are being lied to as well by others?

but often then not,

we always choose to believe unless its seen with your own eyes,

isnt it?

It's also hearbreaking that you gotta pretend you dont know.

But i do realise one thing,

I will finally find my courage and do my decisions soon enough.

and when its done,

i hope i have the courage to heal myself too.